I promised I’d tell all and be honest, so here it is: things have been slow, really, really slow. I got one message from someone on PoF. It came pretty much as soon as I signed up for the site.
“Hi.
How are you doing?
I saw your profile on here and I thought I would say hi.
You seemed like a sweet person to talk to and get to know.
My name is ____ and Im 27. I was born and raised here in good ol' Fresno.
Hope to hear back from you soon.”
The thing is it’s from a guy who has messaged me 2 other times within the last 2 years when I started online dating profiles just to look. He always says the same thing, except uses a different name on a different site. He seems the most normal out of everyone I’ve received a message from, however, I really don’t feel good about contacting him. I’ve thought about it, I’ve prayed about it (didn’t want it to just be me being scared) but I will not be messaging him back.
Ok so, so far so uneventful. I have realized however that I am being very passive in my pursuit to put myself out there. Even with setting up these sites, I have not messaged anyone. I guess that is my next step. In the next few days I will message at least two people from each site and report back with what happens.
In honesty, I’m nervous about this for a number of reasons.
1 - I’ve browsed the men who have profiles, and I am afraid that if I really look I will find no one I really want to date. At least now I am in the dark and there could be a whole ton of really sweet guys out there, but once I look I will know the truth (whatever that truth may be).
2 - I don’t want to get hurt (duh, no one does). Putting myself out there is a big thing, and if the guys I finally message don’t message me back, I don’t know how I will feel. I have always avoided messaging people because I don’t want the rejection.
3 – What if there is someone good out there, and I message him, and I sound like a complete idiot. I know this is just my lack of confidence talking, springing from my lack of any real experience at all, but it is what I feel. I will give myself the benefit of a doubt and remember that it can hard to start a conversation with someone you don’t know. But now I’m thinking it should be easy because if you don’t know the person there seems to be an infinite amount of knowledge to be gained through conversation.
I’m left feeling a little down by this post, but I will pick myself back up, tell myself this is only the beginning (the easy part) and go message some guys. Wish me luck.
If it seems like a normal thing to do in public, but a strange thing to do online perhaps think of what you would do in person, and try to translate.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't in public that's the problem. ;)
ReplyDeleteNo, I looked and found some men who seem decent and will write tomorrow.