You're Growing Up Inch!

Writing guys and not caring if they write back?! WHAT?!  

Yes.  That is what I did tonight.  On a whim, I did some searching and am back in the game.  The game being, going on dates.  I care.  I care way too much about this stuff, and really, it's not a big deal.  So, I'm done with caring....I mean that in a good way.  I am going to step out of my comfort zone yet again because I am going to think of dating and guys as a big deal until I freaking get out and actually date!  And I can't do that by not putting myself out there in any way shape or form.  I'm not looking for a boyfriend.  I'll be leaving this place around May so there is no reason to start something serious, I will however be trying to experience some things I haven't before. 

Comfort zones are good to stay in, if you want to live a mediocre life.  The magic happens outside of your comfort zone (there's some kind of creative jpg out there depicting said truth) and I intend to exit. 

This is the Title.

I have gotten a few requests for new posts.  It's nice to know that those of you who do read this, actually enjoy it. It has been one day short of a month since I last updated, and sorry to say it isn't because I've been so busy dating.  So here's the latest:

Interpreter Guy and I are no longer messaging.  It didn't end badly, we just stopped, and that's how that goes.  He and I were not ideal matches, mostly because he was far more introverted than I.  As I have mentioned before, he also said he didn't have any friends and this greatly concerned me, I don't want to be someone's savior.  If a guy is not who he wants to be (or already working on getting there by himself) I just can't be part of that scenario, relationship wise.  I am all for partners helping each other see the better sides of themselves, that's great, but if one person is doing all the helping that relationship is doomed to fail (or at the very least it's a relationship that I'd rather not enter into).  Either way, I assume both of us realized this, as our messaging fizzled into nothingness.  

I've gotten various messages from other guys, but they just aren't what I'm looking for.  These guys have been more along the lines of high school education, love smoking pot, from a different country and/or hardly speak any english.  I did get matched up with a friend of mine, which in honesty restored some hope that there are decent men on OkC.  And one guy I wrote who lives in a different state actually wrote back with a nice note, but said he wasn't interested in long distance, sad day...But, what can you?  

I'm beginning to think that finding men online is not the best way to go about this.  At this age, I don't really know what the best way is, but in the last few months it has not been online.  I am not giving up; I will leave my profile intact.  However, I am not going to actively engage in searching for matches.  I'm done with that for right now.  I'm a just let things happen kind of girl, who decided to try something different, and that different didn't work out like I'd hoped.  So, I am taking what I learned from this experience and rolling with it. I talked to a few guys, I got over being too afraid to send a message, and now I am going to continue on taking care of myself and making my life what I want it to be.  If I happen to meet some awesome guy along the way, more power to me. 

Am I Too Picky, Or Am I Right?

It has been a little over a week and there have been a few developments in my world of online dating.   


Zombie Guy is history....Or at least I think he is.  I wrote him back with what else I would do pending a "real" zombie apocalypse.  Apparently getting my family and friends in the same vicinity so that we can fight zombies together instead of traveling the country alone looking for each other, and possibly buying a boat, were not impressive enough answers for him.  He hasn't written back.  Let's just say, I'm not weeping in my pillow over that.


Guy who has messaged me multiple times, who will now be known as interpreter guy, got a chance.  I messaged him back.  What can I say, things were slow.  So we've been messaging back and forth a bit.  I'm not putting him on the no-way list just yet, however there are some things that could become a problem.  One, he readily admits to not really having any friends.  This is good because any guy who is a complete liar-douche is not going to lie about not having friends, so at least he's honest.  However, he went through college without making friends, and blames it on focusing on school too much....I don't know about you, but I feel friends are VERY important, to not have many (not enough to find someone to go travel with him) is a little weird.  So, we'll see where things go with him, I'm still hopeful.  


Today I got a message from a new guy, who found me on OkC.  Here is what he wrote me:


"hay there, we quiver matched and seem 2 have sum stuff in common... i'm working on going back 2 college but haven't been in a long time.... I have very strong belief in god... I love 2 laugh, and can laugh at a lot, but any ways, i' 27, live in fresno, and if u care 2 kno me message back"


Now, I'm no grammar/spelling genius, but this is just bad.  It's one of those things, if I notice your grammar is horrible, IT IS HORRIBLE.  His profile is filled with the same kind of writing.  If this was the only thing he had going against him I would feel like a very petty-picky person, however there is more.  OkC matches people based on answers to random questions that are asked to all users.  There are many questions and one can answer privately or publicly.  OkC tells me "Y'all Got Issues", and they are right.  He admits to smoking marijuana, and says he wants to try other harder drugs.  He also wants his future partner to be accepting of this, lets just say I am not.  He does not like to travel.  Who doesn't like to travel?!  Him I guess.  I'm a traveler.  He does not put a high priority on learning/education, I do.  Also, politically, he has very different views than I.  While I realize that many of my views may not be held by my future partner, I am pretty passionate about certain things and I don't think having such a long list of opposite views is a very good start to a relationship.  If I am being to picky, please let me know; I will give him a chance, if I find it's just me.

Reply Numero Uno.

To date I've said hello to roughly 10 guys.  Anyone who looked in the list bit interesting, I wrote.  So far, I got one reply back.  


"If there was a zombie apocalypse, what plans would you make for survival?"


Okay. Not the first thing I'd want to know about a person, but I'll give.  So I replied back.


"Have a zombie movie marathon, and memorize the rules: cardio, the double tap, limber up, buddy plan, wear seatbelt, and the like. 

You?"

I do love a good zombie movie, and if you've seen Zombieland, you'll know what I'm talking about.  Again, he wrote back.

"First and foremost, I'd stock up on supplies. Mostly stock my vehicle with the basics: weaponry, ammunition, more guns, medical supplies, swords, can goods, fuel, and some things to help remind me who I am. 

Is that all the plans you'd make?"

Is it wrong of me to be bored with this conversation already?  Like I said, I love a good zombie movie, but do I think zombies will invade?  No.  And do I really care what dude would do if they did? At this point, not so much.  Does he really have no idea what to write next? Or does he really want to know what I would do? 


I will reply at some point in the near future, but so far, not looking so great.

Really?.....REALLY!?

No responses from the guys I wrote yet, but I did get a new message from someone else.  Here it is:


"i need of company...had a long trying"


WTF? Is this message encoded?  Does this person speak english?  Profile check, and yes, yes he does speak english, however he's 21 and meets none of the criteria I mention on my profile (apart from being single and male).  This message is just a reminder to all, messaging while drunk is never a good idea.

Ugh.

I just said, "Hi there. :)" to four different men via message.  I fail.  Guess it's better than nothing.

So here's what's new! Nothing....

I promised I’d tell all and be honest, so here it is: things have been slow, really, really slow.  I got one message from someone on PoF.  It came pretty much as soon as I signed up for the site.

“Hi.

How are you doing?

I saw your profile on here and I thought I would say hi.

You seemed like a sweet person to talk to and get to know.

My name is ____ and Im 27. I was born and raised here in good ol' Fresno.

Hope to hear back from you soon.”

The thing is it’s from a guy who has messaged me 2 other times within the last 2 years when I started online dating profiles just to look.  He always says the same thing, except uses a different name on a different site.  He seems the most normal out of everyone I’ve received a message from, however, I really don’t feel good about contacting him.  I’ve thought about it, I’ve prayed about it (didn’t want it to just be me being scared) but I will not be messaging him back. 

Ok so, so far so uneventful.  I have realized however that I am being very passive in my pursuit to put myself out there.  Even with setting up these sites, I have not messaged anyone.  I guess that is my next step.  In the next few days I will message at least two people from each site and report back with what happens. 

In honesty, I’m nervous about this for a number of reasons. 

1 - I’ve browsed the men who have profiles, and I am afraid that if I really look I will find no one I really want to date.  At least now I am in the dark and there could be a whole ton of really sweet guys out there, but once I look I will know the truth (whatever that truth may be). 

2 - I don’t want to get hurt (duh, no one does).  Putting myself out there is a big thing, and if the guys I finally message don’t message me back, I don’t know how I will feel.  I have always avoided messaging people because I don’t want the rejection. 

3 – What if there is someone good out there, and I message him, and I sound like a complete idiot.  I know this is just my lack of confidence talking, springing from my lack of any real experience at all, but it is what I feel.  I will give myself the benefit of a doubt and remember that it can hard to start a conversation with someone you don’t know.  But now I’m thinking it should be easy because if you don’t know the person there seems to be an infinite amount of knowledge to be gained through conversation.

I’m left feeling a little down by this post, but I will pick myself back up, tell myself this is only the beginning (the easy part) and go message some guys. Wish me luck.